2020: the year that changed my life forever. Part 2: the initial phase

Dear readers,

At the conference dinner there was a very large buffet and I assume that something I ate there started the whole thing: it was probably an infection that created an imbalance between my mind and my digestive system. For two or three days after the conference I had a few quick and not very healthy meals which made things even worse and on Wednesday 11th March, after a meal at the university canteen, I started having the first symptoms: a light general discomfort and formication all over my hands. My first thought was that I had caught the Corona virus at the conference. Normally, this thought would not have not caused any particular trouble, but the first seed had already been planted and in a few days it developed into a real problem: parallel to the physical symptoms of a typical stomach flu (diarrhoea, nausea, abdominal cramps, digestion problems, etc...), for the first time in my life I developed feelings of fear, panic and anxiety in connection with the Corona virus. My daily life changed dramatically: I washed my hands several times during the day, went into panic whenever I inadvertently touched my face, used gloves all the time and was afraid of coming closer to other people. In the first weeks of the first lockdown we did not have to wear masks (they became available later on) and when I went shopping I rushed through the supermarket and in a few minutes I had picked up all I wanted to buy.

In the meantime, my doctor had contacted me to reschedule an appointment I had made a few months before for the end of April for a general check-up. They wanted to postpone it to the end of May, but due to the problems I was having at the time, I asked if I could go as soon as possible. We agreed on the 8th May. After a thorough check up, he gave me a referral to a gastroenterologist for a gastroscopy. One important factor he was concerned about was my weight loss: I don`t know exactly how much I weighed before everything started, but I would estimate around 62 or 63 kg. On 8th May I weighed 56.

My physical symptoms had changed by then and they were not those of a typical stomach flu anymore but at a certain point I had also started having problems with acid and with food ingestion: very often, whatever I ate, it felt like the food stopped in my lower chest and would not enter my stomach. I felt acid all over me and it even reached my mouth and my nose. I had to put loads of things under the mattress to elevate my upper chest and head to fight acid reflux.  

I also realized that the two groups of symptoms were connected in a way: the panic and the emotions I had due to my state of anxiety caused a deterioration of my physical condition. I soon became aware of the fact that every time I had episodes of panic and anxiety my physical symptoms got worse and I could hardly eat anything. Moreover, the formication that I sometimes had over my hands extended to my arms and legs as well. Later I also started feeling slight pain on both sides of my forehead, which I found out to be psychosomatic: my nerves were aching. I called the specialist to ask if I could bring forward the appointment, but it was not possible. When I explained my current symptoms to the nurse (the ones related to my stomach), her reaction really upset me: her tone was quite arrogant and annoyed, as if she felt I was wasting her time. She said something like: "Oh, come on, it`s ridiculous, the stomach is always open and food always goes through it, it must be something else". If you work as a health care worker, remember this: no matter what you want to say to a patient and no matter how ridiculous what they say may sound to you, your tone of voice and attitude are extremely important and can even make things worse. I remember I had symptoms on that day, just after that phone call.

Anyway, I must also say that the anxiety related to the Corona virus did not actually last that long. In fact, by the end of May it had almost completely gone away but soon re-emerged, this time connected to my current physical status: the inability to digest properly and the resulting weight loss. When my doctor asked me if I had any anxiety or if I was worried about something, I told him that the only worry I had was my own physical condition. Later I discovered that any slightly negative thought or worry would then be a trigger for physical symptoms, probably due to the disconnection between my digestive system and my mind.

On Thursday 28th May, the day before the preliminary talk with the specialist (two weeks before the scheduled gastroscopy) I went to the doctor and he gave me a referral to the hospital, where I stayed for five days and did all possible tests. Final diagnosis: everything was fine, nothing was wrong with me, my symptoms had a psychosomatic origin. I was told I could go home and go back to my normal life. I was of course relieved that they did not find anything wrong with me, and indeed things started to improve, but it did not last long. The worst had yet to come.

2020: the year that changed my life forever. Part 1: how it all began

Dear readers,

for the first time in my life I have decided to share something very private and personal that happened to me in 2020 and changed my life forever. The reason why I have taken the decision to share my experiences with you all is that this information may help people deal with similar experiences and also because I strongly believe that these issues need to be addressed and talked about more often in our society. I am going to tell my story in a series of posts, as it is quite a long one and it would be impossible to publish it all in one go. In this first instalment I`ll just give you a first general introduction and I will then publish an article every two or three days. Due to the very private nature of the subject, comments have been disabled. 

It all started one day at the end of February 2020 in my office, the moment I believe to be the point of no return in this long story. I was getting things ready for a conference I would attend the week after and I was looking forward to my holiday trips, first to London then to Italy. Corona was not much of a problem: the only problem for me was that I risked to have to be quarantined for two weeks in Italy in case someone resulted positive at the hotel where I would be staying, and that was out of the question: I had to come back home and to my work.

On that day my boss was in a meeting in the lab opposite my office and before leaving she popped in to say hello. She just told me that she was going to cancel her participation to the conference but she did not have to mention the reason why: I could see she was worried about something and I knew that it was about the Corona epidemic. I thought about it for a moment and hesitated, while she she was talking to a colleague outside my office. After a few seconds, maybe a little over a minute, she slowly started down the stairs. Had she stayed there longer, I would have possibly called her back in to ask her if she could have cancelled for me, too. I just don`t know, but I might have very well done it. Once she had left, my decision was clear: I was going to the conference. I had already asked the conference staff about a possible cancellation, but they told me that I would not get any refund from them if I cancelled, as Frankfurt Oder was not a risk area for Corona, so I thought I might as well go. In the worst case, I would arrive there and then decide if to take part, as I would receive the usual refund after the conference from my employer. On Wednesday 4th March I left for Frankfurt an der Oder.

Had I decided to cancel and stayed at home, probably nothing would have happened. I surely would have cancelled my holidays in London and Italy, as I actually did a few days after I came back from the conference. However, little did I know at the time that attending that conference would have triggered a series of life-changing events and conditions that will influence and determine my daily life for the years to come. In the next part, you will learn about the onset of my condition and the very first developments.

A poem

Dear readers,

here is a love poem I wrote a few years ago. I hope you like it.



Finally finding a way

to express what I feel inside

though still being afraid

of revealing the things I hide

in this heart of mine.


I can now manage to uncover

what has never actually come out,

Soon you will discover

what I feel for you right now.

That's for sure.


The truth is

that I get lost in your green eyes

when I look at you.

I'd love to peek into your heart and mind

and discover you.

I would give you all my life

if I only could,

'cos I love you.


If I only knew

how to cast a spell...

Would you ever love me too?

Only life will tell.


Andrew Pecchia


Copyright © 2016 Andrew Pecchia. All Rights Reserved

A university degree... at 102!

Dear readers,

here is a very interesting news story published last June in a news website. It's about an old lady aged 102 who has finally managed to get a German medical degree. She had to leave Germany in 1938 because her mother was Jewish, moved to America and later got an MD in medicine. Now she has managed to get a German university degree in Hamburg. Here is her story:

On June 9, Inge Rapoport officially gets her medical degree in Germany. And it's been a long time coming.

Dr. Rapoport is 102 years old. And she did her research back in the 1930s.

In Germany, medical students do a thesis on scientific research; Dr. Rapoport’s work was on diphtheria, which was a scourge for children in the US and Europe at the time.

But when it came time for Ingeborg Syllm (her name back then) to defend her thesis, she wasn't allowed. The University of Hamburg, where she did her research, cited "racial reasons." It was 1938 — the Nazis were in power, and Inge's mother was half Jewish, which for the Nazis meant that she was Jewish.

Syllm managed to get out of Germany in 1938 and made her way to the United States. She completed her degree at a US medical school and finally got her MD.

Inge Syllm later married a Jewish physician and biochemist from Austria and they settled in Cincinnati, where she practiced medicine.

But during the 1950s, the couple became a target of the House Un-American Activities Committee, for their communist leanings. They left the US and moved to what was then Communist East Germany.

“It took quite some time to make up our minds to go to Germany,” Dr. Rapoport said in a telephone interview. “It was a hard decision. I, of course, still had worries about Nazi Germany.”

Dr. Rapoport went on to found the first neonatology clinic in Germany. And her husband, Samuel Rapoport, a noted biochemist, headed an institute there. He died in 2004.

It was only recently that the University of Hamburg proposed to right the injustice it did to Ingeborg Syllm back in the 1930s.

But Inge Rapoport didn't want an honorary degree — she wanted the real thing, which turned out to be complicated. Among other things, her thesis on diphtheria no longer existed. The university was able to overcome that obstacle when they found a letter from her thesis advisor, providing evidence of the quality of her work.

Now, all she had to do was take her oral exam — which meant she had to study research she worked on nearly eight decades ago. She couldn't exactly sit down with a stack of books, though.

“That was a funny thing,” Dr. Rapoport said. “I can’t read. I’m almost blind.”

She turned to her daughter-in-law and researcher friends, who read up on diphtheria, and helped her cram for her exam over the phone.

“It’s a very curious preparation for an exam,” she says. “I was quite nervous in my exam, in my 102 years. But the commission was quite nice.”

The dean of the medical school came to her home in Berlin to administer the oral exam, which she passed with flying colors.

When Dr. Rapoport gets her second medical degree next week at the University of Hamburg, her family will be there to see it.

“She’s incredible, at 102,” said her son, Tom Rapoport, a professor at Harvard Medical School. “I’m very proud of her.” He notes that his mother turns 103 in September.

Inge Rapoport says that getting this medical degree, now, was never about her.

“I did it ... to undo a Nazi injustice. It was for the university and for all of the Jews who suffered the same injustice,” she said.


by Jennifer Goren

at PRI (Public Radio International)

http://www.pri.org/stories/2015-06-05/meet-woman-who-finally-got-her-medical-degree-age-102

I wonder...

Dear readers,

here are some spontaneous thoughts of mine collected in the last few days.

I wonder...

- how come nowadays there are still people who are not able to put two words together correctly in any foreign language.

- why, quoting a famous Italian singer, sometimes depression "calls you even though it doesn't know your name".

- how come that sometimes people can hurt you just by saying nothing.

- why some little wrong thing you said or did can change things so quickly.

- how the world can still be so beautiful after all the damages we humans have caused.

- if it's really true that silence gives consent.

- why, quoting an American singer, we sometimes "have to break down to make things alright".

- if all this technology is indeed too much and can prevent our intellectual progress.

- just how lucky I am when I read the news every day.

- how I can ever be thankful enough to my parents for all they did for me.

- if it's not time to go to bed now ;).


Good night.

Andrew

Terrible act of infamy

Dear readers,

I have no words to describe what I feel about what happened this morning in Brindisi. A bomb exploded in front of a school, killing one 16-year-old girl and injuring other 10, one of them is in hospital fighting between life and death. Fortunately, the timer did not work properly and the bomb exploded earlier than planned. Apparently, the terrorists wanted to kill children. This is disgraceful and outrageous. Never in Italian history had children been a direct target of a terrorist attack. My thoughts and my deepest sympathy and condolences go to the victims’ relatives and to the school children who survived the attack and their friends and fellow students. I hope with all my heart that the criminals responsible for this shameful act will be soon arrested and brought to justice.

9/11, part 3

Dear readers,

here’s the third and last part of the 9/11 story:

New York, 30th June 2001

Paul had now been working for more than a year in his new office at the World Trade Center 7. Everything seemed to go pretty well: he liked his new colleagues and he also often saw his previous ones as they came to the WTC 7 quite often. Yet, there was something strange in the air. He noticed some kind of tension in meetings and sometimes even during breaks while talking to other co-workers, but he could not understand where this feeling came from. 

One day, while he was alone in the main meeting room, he decided to go through some documents that one of the managers had left on the desk for the next conference. It was going to be a meeting only for top high levels and it was going to start in about 20 minutes. He remembered all the strange things going on a couple of years ago at the Pentagon and he knew that there was something going on.

He walked back to the corridor, looking out to see if anybody was coming: nobody. A few colleagues were on a break and the others were all at their computers. He closed the door and returned to the desk and started going through the papers. What he found changed his life.

Two documents were about shooting down planes: the first stated that only the president could give the order, the second one instead said that after the 12th September the decision could be taken by any military chief.

Another was a contract with a demolition company dated 11th June 1998 to wire up the whole World Trade Centre complex. What the hell…?!?

A forth document forbade the public usage of video coverage from the Pentagon CCTV cameras, unless otherwise ordered by the president himself.

Another one was about residence and work permits for some Arab immigrants and there was a list of names.

The last two papers were an official memo to the president from the national security office, but text and date were still to be added and a list of military exercises over the whole American territory planned for September, the exact dates were missing.

Paul couldn’t believe his eyes: they were actually planning a terrorist attack in their own country! But when? Possibly, in the first weeks of September. He didn’t even stop to think: he first made a copy of all the documents, then he put the originals back on the desk and ran to the door. As soon as he opened it, Ted Froman, the head of national security was coming in.

“Hey, Paul. What the hell are you doing here?” he asked him, quite surprised to find him there.

Paul hesitated for a moment, then said: “Nothing, I’ve just made some photocopies of some documents for the next meeting that’s going to take place here. Will you be in it?”

Froman looked at him suspiciously at first, then answered him: “Ehm, yes. I didn’t know you were responsible for organizing this meeting. Usually only the top levels have access to this information.”

“Yes, I know”, Paul said. “I just volunteered to help. You know, I think I’m going on holiday very soon. I’m sorry, I must go now. See you later then.”

“Paul, wait.” He looked at him and straightened out his arm. “The documents, please.”

Paul didn’t answer. He just handed the papers out to him. He knew they would have found out anyway. He just hoped that they would think he was just doing his work, nothing more. After all, he was used to copying documents without even looking at them.

He faked a smile. “Yes, sure. Here they are.” Then he left.

The first thing he did is indeed take a two weeks’ holiday. He really needed it.

11th September 2001, World Trade Centre

When Paul got out of WTC 7, he realized that it was useless for him to stay in the area so he walked back to his flat. That was the last time that anybody ever saw him again.

A few days after the attack all his colleagues were told he was helping people getting out in the South Tower when it collapsed. Nobody had any reasons not to believe that. We know it was not so. However, we don’t know what happened to him. Maybe he had to leave the country and is now hiding somewhere. Most probably he was killed because he knew what really happened on that day. I hope he’s still alive.

NEVER FORGET. SPEAK OUT AND TELL YOUR OWN TRUTH.

Stop the nuclear monsters!

Dear readers,

to my mind a person who is for nuclear energy is a monster, someone who is blind to the thousands and thousands of deaths caused by nuclear disasters, to the various illnesses caused by radiations, to the potential risks for our society. Blind to all this because of profit.

There are two main reasons why people are for nuclear energy: either because they have been disinformed about this source of energy or because they personally profit from the production of it. I believe there are no other reasons why people support nuclear energy. All sensible citizens who are correctly informed about it are against it.

We cannot put the life of future generations at risk just because we want to use an alternative source of energy. After all, I am pretty sure that the consequences of a nuclear disaster will be much worse than the ones of any other natural disasters caused by global warming. Indeed, that is another reason why we should stop as soon as possible producing nuclear energy: with the number of natural catastrophes increasing every year, the risks of having nuclear disasters is growing exponentially, see what happened in Japan.

A human error, an accident, a terrorist attack, whatever happens in a nuclear power station may have disastrous consequences. Do you really want to take that risk? And why? To produce energy? There are many other ways to produce energy and we should really try to use as many renewable sources as possible. Moreover, where shall we put all the nuclear waste? No country in the world has yet found a long-term solution, not even Japan.

Accidents will happen, that’s a fact. Ok, then what will we do in case of one? Well, decontamination procedures, check-ups in hospitals, evacuations, medical treatment, etc.. If the radiation reaches dangerous levels then you may expect to get cancer or other diseases in the future, or maybe your children, or even die in a short time, depending on the circumstances. Every household will need to have a radiation detector and special protective clothing. Furthermore, we will have to organize emergency drills in schools and at work. I definitely don’t want to even think about having to go through all this.

We have to stop these monsters who defend an obsolete, very expensive and extremely dangerous source of energy against the will the people and despite all the risks and the dangers that this technology involves. We have to first get informed from independent reliable sources, then spread this information and let people know what is at stake. We have to raise our voices and fight against this crazy nuclear lobby.

Stop the nuclear monsters!

Bye for now,

Andrew

911, part 2

Dear readers,
here's the second part of the 9/11 story:

It all started some months after the first terrorist attack back in 1993. At the time, he was working at the Pentagon as a simple clerk. His main tasks were to go through the paperwork, make the necessary copies and forward them to other people or departments, write reports about ongoing activities and so on. Now and again he would be asked to do some more challenging jobs, like to give feedback about a defense plan or help to draft a new one.
Paul knew that something was wrong, but he did not know what exactly. Many of his colleagues probably did not notice anything at all, but he had to report to his boss more than once a day and he had seen and heard things that he had not liked. Mind you, nobody had noticed him, possibly because they had not even known he was there or that he was listening.
Well, at the beginning, he was not really listening, until he overheard words like "explosives", "collapse" or "terrorists". So he had started to listen to what they were saying while he was just writing reports at his desk or sending emails or looking for material. He still remembered the day he started to think that they were dealing with something big. It was the summer of 1999. He was making some photocopies when one of his colleagues came out of the main office. He stopped at the door, still talking to the person inside:
"So, are you sure they're going to do it?"
"Yes, definitely. I'm going to contact them as soon as possible to make sure everything is ok with the plan."
"Who's going to do the work at the towers in New York?"
"Well, that's something we'll have to take care of once we know for sure if and when it's going to take place."
What was going to take place, he wondered? He went back to his desk and sat down. He went through the documents he was copying, the reports he was forwarding to his boss, the documents he had to file. Most of them were about national security, some of them were about regulations for the New York police department and for national defense in case... of... terrorist attacks?
Wait a minute...
He went through a second pile of documents he had on his desk. Some of them were warnings coming from different sources, among them also were foreign government information services. Some warnings were about hijacking planes, some others about a few terrorists living somewhere in the US.
"They must be talking about a possible terrorist attack. After all, we are responsible for national security", he thought.
However, something was wrong. All of them were internal communications, no official statements, no communications to the president, no warning was actually forwarded to the government. He decided to put them aside and ignore them. He was sure they were going to inform someone soon.
The following week everything changed: when he went to work in the morning, he noticed that the people he worked for had moved to another area of the Pentagon. Suddenly, nobody was there. Instead, he had to report to a new boss, who explained to him that he would now work for the department of internal organization and information technology. They needed more personnel and he was the right person for the job. He actually did not mind about a change, but he wondered why. Soon, he forgot all that stuff about terrorism and went on to do his new job. Until one day...

New York, 4th April 2000

After a long working day, Paul felt really tired. He had just finished to tidy up in his office when John Davidson came in. John had been one of his superiors before Paul was moved to another sector and was mostly responsible for air defense.
"Hi Paul, how are things going?" He sat down, smiling.
"Well, fine thanks. I've had a long day today. A lot of paperwork." He sat down as well, longing to go home already.
"Listen, Paul. I've got good news for you: you've been assigned to the World Trade Centre in New York. In about a month you'll start working there. We need you there for a special job."
Paul looked up at him. He knew who worked there: defense, CIA, secret service. The news was indeed good: he lived in New York, just a few blocks away from the WTC. He only wondered why this sudden change.
"Oh really? Well, that's good. That's round the corner for me. What is this special job?"
John did not answer immediately. He first looked around and his look went to the different documents on Paul's desk.
"Terrorism", he finally said. "As you have probably noticed, there have been warnings from different sources and we have to check them out and decide what to do."
Paul suddenly remembered the warnings and the documents he had noticed a few years before. Maybe there was a connection, but he decided not to say anything about it just now.
"I see. Well, that's great. I just don't understand this sudden change. I was assigned to another department last year. Now you're calling me back?"
John looked at him and smiled. "Exactly. We need more people to go through all those documents and help us out with our plans."
Paul was happy to go back to work for the defense department. He had been working for them for years and he liked his colleagues there. Moreover, he loved the World Trade Centre in New York. He also knew a few people there and couldn't wait to move to his new office there.
Then one day...

The culture of violence

Dear readers,

Every time people want to protest and show their disapproval in Italy, they have to face violent riot police squadrons. Whatever age or gender the protesters are, the Italian police regime knocks them down, no matter if they are university students, women with their children or old shepherds. There is no democracy in that country.

The problem is of course that this violence produces further violence as people get used to it and fight back. This creates a very tense atmosphere of social and political unrest, creates no room for critical thinking and no time for reflection on important moral social and political issues like democracy, self-governance and human rights. This is very dangerous, especially in Italy, because the government takes advantage of this situation to do what they want while people fight against the armed forces. Moreover, the more violent the police are, the angrier the mob is, the less people think about the whole situation, about their rights, about democracy.

Every month, every week and lately even every day I read articles and watch videos about Italian police attacking people somewhere who are protesting against something: against waste disposal sites, against the new government plans in secondary and further education, against the new laws about the fight against organized crime and many other things. The only thing the government does is send riot police trained and ready to fight to disperse the people and show them who is in charge. Then, as I mentioned before, this violence produces further violence because the people fight back and a kind of civil war develops. In such a country, there is no room for democracy because the most important issue in a democratic society is that every person has the right to express their opinion and show their approval or disapproval without being attacked, threatened or without risking their lives and this right is clearly not respected in Italy.

On the contrary, in a country where there is a culture of democracy, things happen differently. Of course, even in such countries there are violent police, of course there are riots but first of all they are usually isolated events that only take place in extreme situations, secondly the first general reaction by all parties most often is: this is unacceptable, people have the right to protest, we are against violence. This happened, for example, here in Germany some weeks ago. Right now the government is building a new railway station in Stuttgart and thousands are against it. Last week there was a critical moment when the police used water cannons and pepper spray against the people and this was immediately criticized by different parties: some politicians, the media, the citizens. There has been a lot of discussion about the action of the police and the project itself and now some people are trying to find a compromise as it is becoming very clear that most people are against this project. All this has started a general discussion about the democratic system and its values.

In every aspect of life violence is always the wrong way to solve problems and if it comes from the police, then citizens really feel hopeless and left alone by the people who govern the country. To make it worse, little by little people get used to it and do not develop any opinion of their own, especially if the mainstream mass media (TV channels, newspapers, etc.) are also controlled by the government, as they are in Italy. Many citizens just accept things as they are and if they indeed plan to do anything against the situation, they just have to get ready to fight police forces at the next riot.

I hope that in the future human beings will be able to implement other forms of government where citizens have more possibilities to express their opinion and take decisions. Politicians think that once they are voted, they can do what they want. This is basically wrong. We cannot just base our democratic system only on one vote every five years. It is and will never be enough.

Students' rights

Dear readers,
students are the soul of a university. They pay the fees, they take the exams, they fill up seminar rooms and lecture halls, they give us work. If they have problems, we must find solutions and we have to do this together, not just by having staff meetings and negotiations among managers and professors but sitting at a table and listening to the students.
I remember that when I was a student in Italy there were several cases when professors just did what they wanted, treating us badly, failing us in the exams for no reason at all, asking impossible questions and so on. We actually had no rights and no possibility to fight all this. In one specific case that some of my friends will surely remember, the names of the students who protested were given directly to the professor in question, making matters even worse.
At the university where I teach we have now a similar case, though the context and gravity of the situation are completely different. What makes things worse is that the teacher in question could now get a full permanent contract. Well, let's just hope they won't get it.
Anyway, I am going to tell students that if they have big problems with a teacher, there are a few things that they can do: inform the head of the language department, inform the students' board, inform the president and/or any person responsible for complaints and boycott the course. By doing this, they can really show their disapproval.
Moreover, there is often another problem in universities as in many other workplaces: the complicity and the partisanship among some colleagues who exchange favours and help each other instead of being honest and fair, indeed ignoring and causing problems instead of solving them. I hate this behaviour because it shows no respect for others. These people lie for each other and are false and selfish.
Well, enough of it now. Some good news before I close: tomorrow I'm going to Erfurt to see Supertramp in concert! A great comeback!
Have a nice weekend and stay tuned for other news or updates.
Bye for now,
Andrew

9/11, part 1

Dear readers,
today is the 11th September, the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. I'm publishing here the first part of a short story about 9/11. I still don't know how many parts there will be, possibly three. I'm still working on the second right now. I hope you'll like it. Stay tuned for the other parts.

New York, 11th September 2001

Paul finished his breakfast and turned off the TV. It was a very nice day but he didn't feel like going out yet. He sat on the armchair and went through a few documents he needed to look at before going to work. He lived and worked in New York.
He had worked at the Pentagon for many years, then in 2000 he came to work in New York, at the WTC 7. He did not even have to take the train to go to work, he lived a few blocks away and he loved to have a walk in the morning.
On that fateful day it was about 8:30 when he left his flat. He looked up to the sky: a wonderful day. He loved this weather: warm, clear sunny sky. He started walking towards the World Trade Centre, greeting the people he knew and met every morning: shop owners, postmen, cleaners, etc. Just as he was walking into the newsagent's to buy a newspaper, he heard a sound coming from the sky.
What the hell...
Having worked for the Pentagon for years, he recognized that sound immediately: that was a plane flying low over New York. He knew very well that no plane may fly so low over the city. Then, the explosion, from just around the corner.
He almost felt the earth shaking. And suddenly, he knew. He remembered all the conversations, all the documents he had had to copy, all the words he had overheard, all the reports he had gone through. In that specific moment, everything came back to him and he knew.
This is it. They have made it.
He went over to the next crossroads and he looked up for the World Trade Centre towers. Here they were. One of them was on fire.
Holy shit!
He did not know what to do. People were in shock, some were crying, some others were running away, others were just looking up. He stopped for a while, looking up at the gaping hole in the North Tower. Then he turned around and went into the first cafè he could find. As soon as he went in, he saw a group of people watching CNN. He joined them and listened to the first reports: it seemed a plane had hit the North Tower. Probably a twin-engine jet. That was exactly what he thought he had heard a few moments earlier. He listened to the news for a couple of minutes, then he decided to go to the World Trade Centre. He went out again and saw a colleague coming up the street towards him. It was Anne, one of the many secretaries in the WTC 7 building. She was walking slowly, tears in her eyes.
"Paul!" she ran to him and hugged him. "Have you seen that? How terrible! Think of all the people there!"
"I know. It's unbelievable. I was coming to work when I heard the sound of a plane coming. Then, the explosion. What are you doing here? Were you at work when it happened?" Paul asked.
She nodded. "Yes, I was at my desk when I heard the explosion. A the beginning I thought it was a bomb, but then somebody came into the office and told me that a plane had crashed into the North Tower. Most people immediately thought that it was a terrorist attack. Then they said that soon they're going to evacuate the building. Most of the management is still there but they want everybody to leave."
"I see. Well, maybe it's the right thing to do. Our building is just next to the two towers and debris may be falling. Well, Anne, now get out of here. I'll go and see if..."
He didn't manage to finish his sentence. He heard that sound again, louder this time. He looked up just in time to see the crash and the big explosion. People started screaming, crying, running away. Paul and Anne sat down on a bench along the pavement.
"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Anne screamed in shock. "Who the hell could do that? What the hell is going on?"
I know who.
"I don't know, Anne. Terrorists, I guess. Listen, I'll go and see if there's anyone at the office, there must still be someone there. You just..."
"No! Don't go, Paul!" Anne begged him. "You never know, maybe they'll attack again, it's not safe here..."
"Don't worry, I'll be right back. You just go and see your family. They'll surely be worried about you. I'm sure this is on every channel on TV, probably they've even seen the second plane crash live."
"Yes, you're probably right. Ok then, I'll go, but be careful! You should go home as well." She started walking down the road, turning round two or three times to him. "Take care!"
Paul waved her goodbye and then started to walk fast towards the World Trade Centre. While walking, he took his mobile phone and started calling all the people he knew that were in the towers to tell them one thing: get out of there! He managed to reach just a few of them while walking towards the WTC complex. Most of them had already got out. At a certain point, police stopped him.
"I'm sorry, sir, but you have to get out of here. We're evacuating the whole area..."
The policeman didn't manage to finish the sentence because Paul had taken out his ID card.
"Paul Winters, I work for the Pentagon, national security."
"Well, sir, be very careful, debris is falling from the building."
"Ok, thank you."
Paul went on towards the World Trade Centre. Now and again, he looked up to the towers. Debris was falling, people were jumping to their deaths.
Oh my God!
When he reached WTC 7 he noticed that they were evacuating the building. He saw some people he knew at the main entrance. One was Tom, one of his colleagues.
"Hey Paul, they were looking for you. Have you seen what happened? They're trying to..."
Paul was not really listening to him.
"Who's still up there?"
"Well, I don't know exactly, a few have left but other people have arrived. I guess they were CIA."
"Listen, Tom. I want you to help evacuate, tell everybody to get the hell out of here."
Tom looked confused at first. "Why, what's going on? You think it was a terrorist attack?"
Paul looked at Tom. He lowered his voice. "It IS a terrorist attack. It's not over yet. I'll go and see who is upstairs, they're already waiting for me, I guess."
Tom did not have time to reply because Paul had already left. He chose to take the lift. After all, this building was safe, at least as long as they were inside. He reached the 25th floor and went straight to the conference room. He knew they would be there. He got in and looked around. It looked like a control room: in one corner, one group were listening to some kind of radio, probably emergency services. On the main table a meeting was being held by one of his superiors. They were looking at some maps and plans. In another corner, two men were watching the news while working on the computer. Next to them, two or three people were destroying documents and papers. John Perry, one of the people sitting at the table turned round and saw him. He stood up and walked over to Paul, taking him out of the room.
"Hi Paul. Listen, there's no need for you to stay here, we are evacuating the building, soon we will get out as well. They're setting up another control room somewhere else. We'll need you there later at some point."
Paul tried to look calm and relaxed. "Why, what are you doing now?"
"Well, monitoring everything. It was a terrorist attack, the planes had been hijacked and flown into the two towers. We're in contact with the oval office and the defense, waiting for orders."
Well, exactly what he had expected to hear.
"Ok, I'll pick up a few things from the office. Let me know if and where you need me", he said.
"Sure, I will, I'll send you a message on your mobile phone. See you later then."
John turned round and disappeared inside the room again. Paul went over to his office and went straight to his desk and sat down. He needed to think carefully: what was he supposed to do now? It was too late to do anything now, the only thing he could do is tell people to get away from the WTC. He made some phone calls to people he knew would be in the towers or in the other WTC buildings. Fortunately, most of them had already got out. One or two were trapped on the higher floors.
He noticed that most of the documents he had copied or forwarded had been taken away. Probably, they had already been destroyed. He looked around: most desks were emtpy, everything had already been taken and destroyed. He sighed and stood up.
"Ok, let's get out of here", he said to himself.
He took the lift downstairs and got out of the building. His colleague Tom was not there anymore. Actually, nobody was there anymore, only a few policemen who were helping people evacuate. He started to walk away towards his flat, thinking back to the time when everything had started...

* * *

Second Life

Hi everybody,
some years ago, while surfing the Internet, I came across the name "Second Life". I don't remember exactly how or where I saw it, but I remember that I visited the website and wanted to register, but I had to give my credit card details and maybe even pay a fee or something, so I decided not to.
In 2006 I joined a Beppe Grillo meetup group and while I was going through the different meetups in the world, I noticed the "Second Life Beppe Grillo meetup group". I was pretty sure that none of the Grillo meetup groups would be based in a virtual world where people would have to pay to get in. It must be now free of charge, I thought. I checked the website again and indeed, I could register for free.
Here's how it works:

First of all, you have to choose a name for your avatar. You can choose any first name you like but you have to pick a last name from a long list. Then, once you've registered, you have to install the software and that can be a big problem. Check the system requirements before installing it.
When you log in for the first time, you will find yourself in Help Island, a place where you can learn to use SL, how to fly and teleport, you can choose your clothes, appearance, edit your profile and so on. You can also do different tutorials on the basics of SL. Once you leave Help Island, you cannot go back. If you need help, you can go to other public help islands to learn and practice.
I must say, I was very disappointed at the beginning once I left Help Island (at the time it was called Orientation Island). There is no main place where all new residents go, no main hall where you can meet everybody, a kind of starting point. However, there are many of them spread around the Second Life world. I also thought that there would be a map and you could actually walk around or move from place to place. Not really. The SL world map doesn't resemble any normal real world map. It's just an enormous puzzle of land slots, some very big, other very small, a kind of patchwork. Basically, you have to know exactly where you want to go. Well, I had a place, the only place I knew of, which was the "Second Life meetup group". That was the other big disappointment. I thought I would find a place where there were public meetings, discussions, information and so on, as in all other Grillo meetups. Instead, it was utter chaos: there was no real calendar of events, many people were flying around, singing, listening to music, shouting, just having fun.
I attended a few meetings but after some time I just stopped going there. Basically, there was no real connection between this group of people in SL and the meetup world.
The main problem for me is that most people I met there (and I think a lot of people who regularly visit SL anyway) don't really use it as a means of communication, but as a real virtual world where they lead a second life, where they have a second identity. Many residents have property there, a job, daily activities and so on. Some have even changed sex in SL! So when you chat with these people you don't really get to know anything about them, but only about their avatars. This is anyway the impression I had and what I also read about it. I didn't really get to know anybody in SL, so I'm not talking by experience.
However, at the same time, I realized that this software was really a great technological breakthrough: here you can talk to people from all over the world, using video, chat notecards and voice, a world where you can recreate any kind of environment. You can organize meetings or conferences with many people at low or no costs. For example, every year I attend a big conference called SLanguages about teaching languages using online platforms or virtual worlds like SL, with so many people from many different parts of the world, connecting from the most different places like home, a hotel, a public place. This year it will take place at the end of May.
After some research, I also discovered that in SL there are many institutions helping people, for example people with disabilities or people who have gone through terrible traumas, like victims of violence or rape. It seems they are more able to talk about their experiences when they are on their own talking to a computer than in a self-help group or to a psychiatrist. There are also many institutions where you can go and attend courses, learn languages and many other things. There are many events every day, like live music concerts, conferences or just even meeting places with all kinds of people. So it's a great world that we can use for many different purposes.
I sometimes go to SL and walk around, looking at the different landscapes, visiting new places. I am probably going to start teaching languages there soon. If you are already a SL resident or want to join, well, let me know, we can meet there and have a chat :)
Bye for now,
Andrew

Update

Hi everybody,
long time no post! Anyway, just an update for the curious: for Christmas I stayed at home and my mother came to visit me and we had great time here in Nordhausen. Then, after the end of the winter semester here at university, on 10th February I went on holiday. First I went to München to see Beppe Grillo: fantastic show! Then from there I went north, visiting a few cities including Strasbourg and Trier. Finally, on 25th I was in Bochum for a conference about quality in language teaching in universities. I finally came back home on 28th. Then ...

At the moment, I'm doing different things: first of all, I'm doing some research about teaching online and as I said in my previous post, I may soon start giving private lessons online. If you are interested, just contact me. I also would like to start teaching in Second Life. For those who don't know what that is, I'll publish a post about it in the next days.
Secondly, here at the university we're busy trying to find new concepts and ideas for the language centre and our courses. For example, we may soon start offering students the possibility to take TOEFL and TOEIC, two international exams to test your level of English as a foreign language. We are also reorganizing the SLZ, the self-study lab. We will soon come up with a timetable and a program of events and tutorials.
Finally, I'm planning to go to Italy this summer and stay longer than usual as I have to finish my holidays for 2009 and start taking the ones for 2010. Of course, the cheapest way to spend long holidays for me is going to Italy! I'm also looking for something to do when I am there because otherwise it may get very boring for me, so if you have any work for me, let me know!
Ok, that's enough for now.
Take care.

Latest news: work and more

Hi everybody!
Sorry for not writing for a long time. I've decided to change a few things in this blog and use it also to keep you updated about me and what happens around me here in Nordhausen and Germany. Furthermore, I've been working on one or two posts that I will publish soon here. One of them is about 9/11, but I don't want to anticipate anything, wait and see.
Let's start with some important news:

As some of you may already know, I'm part time now here at the FH Nordhausen and soon I'll be working privately as well. So, if anybody needs some help with English or Italian, feel free to contact me and I'll be happy to help you. Don't worry, I won't be that expensive! I'm also going to try to start teaching online, so if there are any volunteers out there, please contact me. As I've never taught online before, I won't charge you for the first lessons!
There is, however, an important point: as I already have a well-paid job, I'm not going to do this private work only for the money but mostly because I love it and I want to do it. So, I'll do it in my own time. Therefore, I'm not going to accept any work with short-time deadlines.
If you want to contact me, you can do it through Skype (andrew25675), email (check my profile in this blog) or Facebook (.../andrew25675).
Let's go on with other news:

• Paul is back! On 3rd December I'm going to Berlin to see Paul McCartney live at the O2 World Arena! I'm sure it will be a great concert!
• After 15 long years, I've started playing the piano again! Last September I bought a Kawai digital piano and now and again I play it. I download sheet music and MIDI files from the Internet and I've learned to play some new songs now.
• On 10th February 2010, I'll be in München to see Beppe Grillo, he's giving a show there. After that, I'll go on holiday and I'll visit a few cities here in Germany and I'll end up in Bochum, where I'm going to attend a conference.
  

Ok, that's all for now. Take care and stay tuned.