Dear readers,
They say our stomach is our second brain and indeed it's true: if the connection between your brain and your digestive organs is severed as mine was, the system just stops working. They call it a functional disorder and basically it refuses to do its job because there is no proper interaction between your mind and the stomach or colon.
Physically, it was really terrible. Though I never had real pain, I experienced symptoms that I had never had before and I could not have a normal meal anymore: my body was not able to process and digest food properly anymore, and for this reason I started losing more and more weight. It's very difficult for me to describe my symptoms: often food felt like a knife or a stone going down through my stomach and colon, some other times it felt like mud. Very often it stopped in the middle for hours. Due to the recurrence of psychosomatic episodes, things started to get worse: after each episode, my physical condition deteriorated and it took longer to recover each time. At the beginning, it took a few days to a week, but then it became weeks, sometimes more than a month. The more intense and longer the episode was, the more intense also the physical symptoms were. It got to a point when I could not even wear any pants or trousers at home, as any minimal pressure around the belly down to my waist caused a lot of discomfort and it really felt as if it stopped food from descending through my digestive organs.
Probably, the worst was seeing myself disappear: imagine that from March until at least December 2020 I kept losing and losing weight and I never gained any. I got to a point that I started having pain because of that. I also started avoiding looking at myself in the mirror, as I would notice the clear signs of weight loss and that would trigger further episodes at times. Same was for checking my weight: last time I weighed myself was a long time ago, probably in October when I last went to the nutritionist after having come back from London. After that, I decided I would not check my weight anymore until I would notice clear and visible improvements. Although I started noticing them more than a month ago now, I still have not stepped on the scale again. I have promised myself I'll do it soon, maybe on my birthday :-).
In my next post, I'll come back to my story and talk about further developments.
